Author Topic: closure  (Read 452 times)

dess

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closure
« on: March 16, 2012, 09:12:53 am »
My bd has severe depression and its got to the point where its affecting everyone, his mum passed a day before mothers day a while ago and being the youngest at 25 of 8 kids he feels the loss the most especially as during her sick period (cancer) she brought him to England from Jamaica on her passport you can't do that now but anyways she left him here in the care of various sisters aunts etc to give him a better life but died shortly after returning to Jamaica so subsequently it left him with no British citizenship which after 18 years he now has sorted but that's not the point just trying to give a bit of background info... When she died his elder sisters went to her funeral in Jamaica but at the time he didn't have either his Jamaican passport or a British one so couldent attend her funeral. I think that not having a chance to say goodbye or even visit her graveside is preventing him from closure and the right to grieve properly which is depressing him, its got to the point where I feel helpless uno and unqualified if you will as I don't no what its like to have a mother die..... Please if anyone has any advice to give me id be so grateful what can I do?? Does he need to go Jamaica to say goodbye properly?? Thanks ladies
Proud mummy of 2 :) due 5th june

charlene25

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Re: closure
« Reply #1 on: March 16, 2012, 10:01:26 am »
I think that in order for him to properly say goodbye and get that closure that he so desperately needs he has to go to Jamaica to say goodbye.
That way he can say what he needs to cry as much as he needs to.
And maybe you should go with him and you guys can have a little memorial just so that he can say that he was able to give her a proper goodbye.
hope that helps.

mummy2jayde

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Re: closure
« Reply #2 on: March 16, 2012, 10:19:53 am »
That's so sad. If its wat he needs to help him have closure and start moving on to bring happiness to u and ur little one, then you should both go. If you can afford it. He will need your support. And if u need support you have us :) x

mommieX3

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Re: closure
« Reply #3 on: March 16, 2012, 10:28:43 am »
If its possible a trip there would prolly help him. Some people can write letters, i used to write letters to my dad sometimes after he died. I would jus say what ever i needed too then put it up. I felt a little better afterwards. He died at home very unexpecdidly so i felt i had alot i wanted to say to him and couldnt. Maby that would help him too. Hope he can find something, its terrible to b sad all the time.

Alaina

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Re: closure
« Reply #4 on: March 16, 2012, 11:22:06 am »
:( that's sad

dess

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Re: closure
« Reply #5 on: March 17, 2012, 04:19:59 am »
Thanks ladies..... I suggested that to him and he is all for the idea, problem is money and the fact he wud rather go there with me and our kids, that's fine if I go but, when he has emotional breakdowns its hard for even me to cope with. I wouldent want the kids remembering their first Holliday as daddy being sad all the time.......his other point is he dosent want to waste money taking two trips which is fine but I really think he needs to do this himself or with me first, he's so stubborn and won't hear me out :(
Proud mummy of 2 :) due 5th june

Aussiemummy

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Re: closure
« Reply #6 on: March 17, 2012, 07:30:26 am »
Aww, I think that he needs to go (when posdible) but you need to go for support & yaking the kids could be good as theu woild meet relativrs over there?
Currently pregnant with my third HG baby.